Convincing Your Man to Get A Male Fertility Test

Convincing your man to get a male fertility test may prove more difficult than you think. Guys have their own sensitivities, including those that threaten or question their masculinity. Invade that area and you may very well be treading on dangerous ground. If you have done so already and have been met by the dragon, don’t despair. There is a way around most sensitive subjects. In this case, a big dose of love, compassion, and communication just might do the trick.

Be clear on what he needs to know

Sometimes suffering from infertility issues can make us emotionally volatile. So before you even broach the subject to him, be very clear with yourself on what he needs to know. In other words, set aside your personal emotional issues, for now—if you already have them. Be clear with yourself that your main goal is to tell him clearly, factually, and rationally why he needs to get tested.

This is not to say that your feelings don’t matter. Of course, they do! However, if you insist on discussing your emotions along with why he needs to get tested, it could lead to a messy argument as your emotions well up. Therefore, be focused and save the emotional talk for later.

What does he need to know?

Many couples assume that infertility is the woman’s problem. After all, it is too often supposed it is a woman’s job to conceive. So when you fail to get pregnant, that’s your problem, right? Wrong.

To illustrate this by example, I’ll tell you a story about a couple I know. Gene and Suzanne, seeking help for infertility, were shocked to find out that Gene was the one with the infertility issue, even after having sired one child from a previous marriage. From his history, they easily concluded that Suzanne had the problem. But after Gene’s fertility test results came back, it turned out that his sperm were not correctly shaped and had morphology issues.

This is why you need to let your man know that infertility is as much his issue as it is yours. Conception is a shared responsibility. And when conception is not occuring that means it becomes a shared challenge. Therefore, you both need to accept the fact that infertility could be both or either one’s issue.

You can tell him, too, that many women who have gone through infertility treatments express physical as well as financial pain—something both of you may be able to be spared from if he agrees to a simple sperm analysis. The beauty of it is that it’s guaranteed painless on him and on his pocket at only around $90-130, even without insurance. If he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t want anything to do with doctors or hospitals, be sure to emphasize the painless part.

It’s all because of love

Because he is the person you chose to love and spend the rest of your life with, it follows that you want to have his kids. In the same way, love should be your motivating factor for asking him to get tested. For his part, love can also be his big motivation to appreciate the need to get tested.

Educate him

Ask your doctor if they can provide you with brochures which can be beneficial information to help him better understand fertility tests and why he needs to undergo one. Such information will help him realize that testing is not only important, but that your future child’s health may also depend on it.

Let him talk

It’s only fair to give your man the chance to speak up, too. When he does, accept his words with love and openness. Doing so will help prevent an argument. Do not judge him for any negative feelings he may have.

Let him talk to vent his own struggles about the issue. You might even be surprised to know that he is taking this problem with infertility more seriously than you think and that all along he’s just been very good at hiding it, for fear of losing your love or respect.

If he expresses this, assure him that whatever the test result, it will not in any way diminish his value in your life as well as your love for him. For all you know, this is all he wants to hear from you.